The ABCs - and Zs - of sleep

“It’s bedtime!”

Ack! These two words can be so stressful! Kids (and sometimes adults) are wrapped up in whatever they’re doing, and shutting down for the night is not appealing no matter how exhausted they may be. Nevertheless, sleep routines are critical. 

So-called “sleep independence” is a crucial skill for children to develop, and it can significantly impact overall development and well-being. “Sleep independence” refers to a child’s ability to fall asleep and stay asleep without relying on external aids, most notably a parent's presence. By learning to sleep independently, children can experience better sleep quality, which is essential for physical growth, brain development, and emotional regulation. 

For example, a process to achieve sleep independence could look something like this:

Stage 1: A child is able to handle a bedtime routine independently.

Stage 2: A child is able to fall asleep independently.

Stage 3: A child is able to stay asleep independently. 

You can tackle one stage at a time and move backwards and forwards through the stages until the child has achieved each stage of independence.

As a parent, you can encourage sleep independence by establishing consistent bedtime routines, creating a consistent and conducive sleep environment that’s familiar and friendly to your child, and gradually increasing independence over time. 

Certainly you have to do what works for you and your family. Some families, for example, find that setting a “bedtime” is simply not realistic for the family’s lifestyle. Other families use a "lights out” strategy so that kids can go to their rooms and read before it’s time to go to bed. Whatever methods you choose, it’s crucial to take a close look at how you are feeling as a parent. If parents are not getting enough restorative sleep and suffer the consequences at work and in relationships because a child is not sleeping independently, it may be time to change things up a bit.