“Boo!”: What to do about your child’s fear of masks
Whether it’s Halloween, playing dress up, or just goofing around, at some point most young children put on a mask. Most kids see masks on others, too, including being around people in costumes, healthcare providers, or even catching glimpses of the “bad guys” on crime shows. Children even see masks on mascots at sporting events!
It’s not uncommon for kids to develop a fear of people wearing masks. Imagine how it must feel at a very young age to see a life-sized cartoon character coming toward you! It’s jarring even for many adults.
Masks are confusing for children because children don’t have context or connection to the “real” person behind the mask. Consider how masks are interpreted by children of different ages:
–Infants struggle when they see someone wearing a mask because they truly believe the person behind the mask disappears for good when the mask covers the face. This is because object permanence occurs during cognitive development between six and nine months.
–Toddlers and preschoolers may be afraid of people in masks because they have a hard time distinguishing between reality and fantasy. They truly believe a monster is right there; they don’t understand that it is just Dad wearing a scary-looking mask.
–School-age children, and even children who are younger, are generally more afraid of faces that look very different from theirs, even if it is a family friend. Especially if the child has not yet met the person or had a chance to get comfortable around them, the person is still a “stranger” in their eyes even with parental validation that the person is a “friend.”
So what can you do? Here are some hints for reducing your child’s distress around masks:
–Relax around your child’s fear; when they see that you are relaxed, it signals that they can relax, too.
–Ask your masked visitor to take the mask off and on repeatedly to show your child who is behind the mask–a friendly neighbor or relative (or even a friendly parent if it’s you wearing the mask)!
–When you know that you’ll be in a “mask heavy” situation–leading up to Halloween, planning to attend a costume party, or heading to the hospital–consider practicing wearing a mask in front of your child in advance of the event so your child gets more familiar with masks without the fear.
–Overall, try to make wearing masks fun and comfortable rather than scary and stressful. If masks are simply too much, ease into acclimation by starting with face paint, a hat, or a funny wig.
If your child’s fear of masks still seems more heightened than what you’d expect given their age and stage of development, and you’d like to further explore what might be behind the fear and what you can do about it, please reach out! My practice helps many parents and families work through issues related to a child’s development of facial recognition and interpreting facial expressions. I’d love to help you on this part of the journey of parenting!