Saying goodbye: Supporting your child when a friend moves away
Families who are planning a move often do so after a school year ends and before a new one begins. That means your kids will likely experience the loss of a friend who moves away at least once during their school years. Helping your child cope can be a challenging experience for both parent and child. Here’s what you can do to make it easier:
–Validate your child’s feelings. The first step is to acknowledge your child’s feelings and let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or even confused. Encourage open communication by asking gentle questions about how they’re feeling and listening without judgment. Sometimes, children need reassurance that their emotions are normal and that it’s natural to grieve the loss of a close friendship.
–Share about a memory that shows how you can relate. Although you may not have moved as child or had a friend move, in all likelihood, you have moved at some point in your life. Talk to your child about what it was like to move to a new house, or a new school, or to have a friend move away. Children love hearing how their parents coped with difficult transitions, and the positive growth that inevitably comes later.
–Offer suggestions for keeping in touch. To help your child adjust, suggest ways to maintain the friendship despite the distance. This could include writing letters, sending emails, or scheduling regular video calls. If possible, help them plan a visit or create a scrapbook with memories of their friend. These activities not only keep the connection alive, but also give your child something positive to focus on during this transition. Remind your child that while things may change, their bond doesn’t have to disappear completely.
–Expand friendship circles. Encourage your child to engage in new activities and make new friends. Joining clubs, sports teams, or community groups can provide opportunities to meet others with similar interests. Let your child know that making new friends doesn’t mean forgetting their old one-it simply means their circle of support is growing.
Just a reminder, these blog posts are not a substitute for therapy and should not be interpreted as professional advice.