Is now a good time to teach my children mindfulness?

Yes and no.

The tools to teach children and adolescents mindfulness continue to proliferate across all forms of media. For the most part, this is positive, helpful and encouraging. The literature is steeped in the benefits of mindfulness and it is beautiful to see so many youth learning more about presence, awareness of their internal states, curiosity and self-compassion. But, during this time in our world, one of the first ways to practice mindfulness, if you haven’t been doing so already, is to mindfully consider if now is the time to purchase a book, toolkit or online course. Ask yourself:

• What is my intention in taking this step?

• How do I already practice mindfulness or meditation on a regular basis? Is my modeling of this sufficient during this time?

• What is the time investment necessary and might this add one more thing to my to-do list? (It shouldn’t).

While there are messages getting communicated via social media, schools and/or neighbors that this is a grand opportunity to rack up some parenting points by taking on new projects with our kids, don’t necessarily add teaching mindfulness to the list. Do add practicing mindfulness yourself (as a parent) to the list and let it trickle down, so to speak, to your kids, because it will. Our children know when we are trying to convince them that something (like mindfulness, or eating a healthy snack instead of candy) is good for them and therefore they should learn about it (believe me, I’ve tried!). More often than not, it backfires. Of course model healthy choices and offer them, but don’t try to convince your children that they should do it because it is good for them.

Teaching mindfulness begins with being mindful. And some may even say that is enough. Connection through moments of presence and awareness is being mindful. As your child is working on her school work, stating, ‘I notice how you stuck with that challenging problem.” can be practicing mindfulness. At dinner, reflecting that you noticed how your teen seemed reluctant to get on the whole class zoom meetings and that you understand how difficult all of this is, indicates awareness and presence. Or, when you as a parent are exasperated that yet again you are having to referee a sibling squabble, you state clearly your frustration and how it makes you feel and that you need some time to take a breather, models internal awareness and self-compassion. Additionally, lie in the grass and stare at the clouds, inviting your child to do the same. Smell each of the ingredients as you cook, close your eyes when you take the first bite of a cookie, and certainly stop and listen to the bevy of birds we are all suddenly aware of. These are authentic moments of mindfulness that allow for and maintain connection. And how do you get in a state of noticing these details in your children’s lives and your own life? By being mindful. And, best of all, it’s free.