31 Days of Mindful Parenting: Day 17

Not only what they he or she is saying, but also the actual sound of the voice. Has it changed since the time when she was little? Does it sound irritated? Hopeful? Worried? Happy? Without intervening, just notice the sound of his voice.

31 Days of Mindful Parenting: Day 13

Sometimes we have to simply be. The fear is that nothing will get done but inevitably, life moves forward. Even if you just pause for 30 seconds and do nothing, what does happen?

31 Days of Mindful Parenting: Day 9

To explain this a bit further, often we put ourselves in the way of distractions so that we do not have to tolerate something (a feeling or a task) difficult. We can get away with this only so much. Eventually, if we don’t do the task or feel the feeling, it becomes bigger and even harder. Social media is an example of a nested distraction - we may initially get on it to distract ourselves from work. Then we read an article that makes us feel discouraged and we distract ourselves from that by going to a funny video. Then, that funny video reminds us of a book we need to buy for our child…you get the point. There are thousands of distractions in our day. When we are in a mindful state of awareness, we can notice them, stay with the present task or emotion and process or do what really needs to be done. This list provides some ideas of what to pay attention to with regard to what may be distracting.

31 Days of Mindful Parenting: Day 7

You may later want to investigate what those physical sensations mean (e.g., I must be nervous about something, I’m tensing up, why did i get excited about that?) but first try to just notice them without applying meaning. It can help place a “pause” between the actual experiencing of the sensation and the thought or label we attribute to it.

31 Days of Mindful Parenting: Day 6

Some examples may be starting the car, the sound of a child calling your name, walking into your car, walking into your house, logging into email, etc. Each time you engage in this activity, imagine that it is a mindfulness bell ringing that invites you to stay present - with each step, each bite or each movement.

31 Days of Mindful Parenting: Day 5

When we are being judgmental, we are critical of small things, finding fault with another person or group of people, situation or idea someone has. This is different from making judgments or decisions. (For additional reading, see here). Not judging oneself or others is not easy. However, bringing awareness to judgment itself allows us to recognize just how often we do it. Judging often comes with name calling (e.g., “I’m such a fool for forgetting this!” “My child is so messy.” or “Sally’s mother is really nailing this pandemic parenting thing.” (Sorry - no one is excelling in the area of pandemic parenting). So, when you catch yourself judging (start with yourself, you may notice it more often), pause…and then see if you can just describe what is happening without judgment. For example, instead of “I’m so forgetful!” try “An appointment was missed and needs to be rescheduled. Forgetfulness happens.” It may make it a little easier to remember that you’re human.

31 Days of Mindful Parenting: Day 4

Viktor Frankl was a Holocaust survivor, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist. Through practicing mindfulness, we more easily find the space, or the pause, between each stimulus that presents itself throughout the day. We are surrounded by tens of thousands of stimuli throughout the day so this quote is not meant to make you feel bad that for most of those stimuli you will react instead of respond. Rather, it is meant to encourage us all to see if we can “catch” the pause in between, so that we may be able to choose a response that feels authentic to us, our values and to the moment.